THE Glasses…

So it all started on a Tuesday night in Denver, Colorado. I was hanging out with Chief Two Feather and Justin. It was a good day of skateboarding and we decided to go to Steven’s (Chief Two Feather’s) after we had skated our day away. Later on… it’s about 5 pm and we’re at Steven’s apartment having a Marathon of “East Bound and Down”… the first season and someone mentioned, “Damn I am hungry!” and the other two of us were like, “Hell yeah! We are too.” So the game of deciding where to take this hunger landed us a decision of going to Stuben’s… only after about 2 hrs of the game; “Where do you wanna go?” says Steven. “I don’t know man.” says Justin. “I could care less.” is the reply I think I threw out there. But over and over until finally Chief Two throws out, “Stubens, you wanna go there? They have that special!” I quickly answer, “what special is that?” Steven says, “Well Chief One Feather (that’s me, and it’s a whole other story… I will post it if I get enough comments asking me to) they have this special; burger, beer and fries for five bucks!” So it’s almost 8 pm and I am like, “F#$@ yeah, I am totally down for that!!” Being that I am totally poor and trying not to spend any money, or little. Justin also agreed that this would be a great idea. “But it doesn’t start till 10 pm.” Steven says. That is when my stomach is like damn that sucks, but my wallet is like you can wait you pussy!! So we waited, finishing the 6 episodes of East Bound and Down with good ol’ Kenny Powers.

The next ordeal of the night was getting to Stuben’s, it’s on the same street as Chief Two’s house but about 10 blocks away which isn’t much in small little Pueblo, but in Denver it’s quite a walk for we all had three, or four beers maybe five and weren’t about to drive, and it’s freezing outside. So we are on our walk down the Pearl Street of good ol’ Capital Hill in Denver… and all the sudden Justin finds these glasses; white, black, pink, girlie, and have a peace sign on the side. I say, “Let me have those, they can go on our little adventure to Stuben’s and where ever else we decide we will go.” He hands them over and this is where the adventure of the Glasses begin…

This is about the time I decided… I am going to blog about our little adventure and see what happens.

So we arrive at Stuben’s and yes the deal; burger, beer, and fries for five bucks is totally true and almost too good to be true!! It was amazing. The waiter asks us what kind of beers we want, and of course shitty ones, but who can complain the burger alone was a 6 or 7 dollar burger anywhere else. So I choose the Miller High Life, because that what Kenny Powers of East Bound and Down would want me to do.

The burger and the fries (extremely greasy, but good) were a lot better than the beer, but the Glasses became famous on that beer, it was the first picture I had taken with them. We all got down on those burgers. I think mine went down in about seven and a half minutes and even Justin was kinda amazed, “Damn Fred did you even chew that burger?” Little did he know my stomach was about to kick my wallet’s ass for making me wait that long. Steven was getting the beers from under-agers that couldn’t have them. “Joey when you order yours. You should see if they will shoot your beer to me.” says Steven. So Joey asked the waiter and the waiter didn’t hesitate, “Sure man another Olympia for you?” said the waiter to Steve. ”Hell yeah, Thanks!” said Steven. Then the other three people that showed up with Joey, also underage, Steve was going to try to get their’s too and I think he was like better not push it. So he didn’t.

Since I had inhaled my burger, fries, and beer deal. I had chilled for a little finishing my Miller High Life and so after Justin was done. We decided it would be a good idea to get our smoke on… so we stepped outside and smoked a cigarette.

While we were smoking, I said, “I think these glasses would look good on that bike, I think I am going to take a picture on them.” “Why would you do that?” said Justin. I replied, ”Because they are semi-gay glasses for us to be walking around with, and single speed bikes are super gay.” As I looked at Justin for approval, he didn’t say anything, but I think he approved. So I took this picture, hoping that the tight jeaned, fixed gear queer would have walked out while we were setting up this “super gay picture”. But, he/she didn’t.

We finished our smoke and continued to laugh about the glasses on the bike and I decided that it would be great to take a picture at the ashtray since it was so pretty. It was covered in all different kinds of stickers and you couldn’t see any of the gross butts in it because they were all hidden. I also wondered what the yellow thing was that was hanging from it so I decided to include that into the picture.  Justin and I were now done filling our lungs with cancer causing chemicals from the smokes. Camel Blue was my preferred choice, while J Greer choked down an American Spirit… not sure if it was the yellow or blue pack, I am guessing yellow though.

On the way back in to get our buddy, my other tribe member, Chief Two Feather; I almost ran into this pole. It must have been jealous of our self proclaimed bad ass glasses. “Would you like to take a picture with these glasses?” I asked the pole. Absolute silence, as I looked at the pole waiting for an answer. Hey maybe inanimate objects can express their feeling, I don’t know. I put the glasses on the pole and proceeded to take a shot.  After the shot, I showed the exposure to J Greer and asked him, ”Justin what do you think about this shot?” He replied, “It’s pretty good, even looks like it is smiling.” I think he was referring to the little gray mark about 3 inches down on the side. I am glad I made that poles night.

So after the glorious cancer sticks and a few pics, we stumbled back into the amazing deal holding pub to relocate our buddy, Chief Two Feather, yeah Steven. While we were away he had decided he was going to eat more so we had to wait for him to punch down some more fries and some green chile that he had ordered. After saying later to all the under-agers that I didn’t know besides Joey, we paid and got the F out of there. But yes, definitely not before the Glasses posed it up in some peppermint candies. Damn they look good, don’t know if it was the glasses or the candy.

“So what do you guys wanna do now?” Steven shoots to us as we are walking out of the bar/pub/food spot. I think it was Justin who said, “Wanna go to the Streets?” (That’s a bar that is located on Colfax about 15 blocks away from where we were.) “Yeah I am down!” said Steven and of course I agreed because I had nothing better to do. So where is it at I had asked. (Even though I had already told ya’ll)

“It’s only like fifteen blocks away,” said Steven. “I am okay with it then, I could use another drink.” I replied. So the decision was made, but we decided to sit outside of Stuben’s for another fifteen minutes talking to everyone we ate with. While we were there I learned of a way to water trees for a long period of time, or maybe I just put some sense into the ice that was dumped on the sidewalk. I figured the glasses were some type of environment loving things, due to the peace sign, so I allowed them to pose on our collaborative idea that Stuben’s dumped there ice there to water the tree throughout the night into tomorrow, or however long it took to melt this ice.  Well back to the conversation, we were still talking to everyone and one of us complained how we were going to walk all the way to the Streets. (It’s actually “The Streets of London”, but we compressed it to the Streets.) And this homie, and I wish I could remember his named offered us a ride, and of course we took it.

So while we were in the car I had said, “Yo J, take a pic with the glasses since you are part of this amazing and fun adventure.” He took them and put them on his face immediately and I was actually semi-surprised because I didn’t think he would. So that is his sexy ass to the left just so all you ladies know.

And to the right is Steven a.k.a. Chief Two Feather. He had a little scuffle a few nights previous to this one so we decided to do a little less of a face shot, and I don’t think he wanted those pretty little shades on his face.

So we are getting this ride to the bar, but the driver (forgot his name) decided to park 4 blocks away from the bar, I don’t know maybe we had different ideas of what a ride to the bar is. (Hey, don’t get all sad, I am definitely thankful for the ride just expressing my idea of what a ride to the bar means. Damn, sorry for giving my two cents.) But anyway, maybe I shouldn’t be upset, it allowed for me to add to this adventure a little bit more. On the way to the bar, our 4 block walk, Steven took a pee next to this fire hydrant. (I could have posted that pic, but this is a PG blog, maybe I will start a more x-rated one for the others. And no I didn’t get he dick, I am not gay.) And yes I decided the Glasses needed a pic. I thought they looked good with the yellow background!!

After Steven’s super long pee, we called the river ”The Chiefies Stream along Colfax”, we continued our walk to the Streets. Along the walk we ran into some vespas, so we put the glasses there on the back. These are very good transportation devices, especially when you live in Denver, or if your wallet isn’t fat like most of the people that work for the gas companies. (That’s a whole other rant so we will stop right there.) So we finished our lovely walk of the last two blocks along Colfax, and we arrived. To the “Streets of London” we go.

So as we enter the bar, of course get carded… but after the door it was like walking into a crowded Disney Theme Park ride line. There were people everywhere, at every level of intoxication. It was extremely funny to watch some of the extremely drunk people interacting.  As I fought my way towards the bar, I run into Clint Elliot. Yeah exactly, he’s from Pueblo, in a Denver bar. (It’s a Small World” music playing.) “Fred… Fred, what the f!@# are you doing here?” He shouted at me over the thousand voices collaborating together, sounding as if we were in a small riot. “Clint what’s up buddy!”  I replied. Then we start to push our way towards the bar together… On our way, I run into the Italian Bear, Eli Cash….

This is one huge dude!! He’s an artist, from Pueblo, now living in Denver. He comes to throw down a bunch of lingo to me about doing art for my skateboard company. I am flattered at the point and definitely going to use some of his art!! But at the time he is the biggest guy in the bar just looking down at me talking to me. He was explaining to me about his art when Gutierrez worked his way through the mob… wondering who was his friend, the Italian Bear talking to?? (Me of course, but you couldn’t see me due to his size.)

Finally Brian made his way around and noticed me, the other part to the “Geezer Games of Skate” (another story). He freaks out because yeah, out of the millions of bars he could have been at, he picks the one I end up at… (again “It’s a Small World” comes on)

So we work our way to the bar, and actually come up on a table. That is a huge accomplishment considering the amount of people were there… Almost positive they were well over capacity, but who’s counting?? After we get to the table.. and chat for a second and say how crazy it is we run into each other 120 miles from home, and get a drink from some waitress Clint was drooling over all night, I explain my little adventure. The GLASSES!! Come on, did I lose you already.. Pay Attention!!

Well if you didn’t notice I got all of them to take pics with the glasses, Clint’s is pretty good!! He’s the guy slamming the Pabst.  Then Eli, with the hand tats, looking like an Italian Bear. And of course, B-Boy B-Nice ( That’s Brian G’s name, ask him about it if you don’t know) holding the glasses at the table….  Then this guy, I totally forgot his name, just like many others throughout the night, but I do remember it’s Eli’s roommate!!

But wait there’s more… I fight my way through the crowd after helping Clint with his drool to go smoke a cig with B-Nice… There are two places too smoke… one in front, one out back, we decide to go to the back allowing us the joy of fighting through the alcohol crazed mob.

While out there, ( a contained back room with heaters, nice but smokey!!) I found this cooler. It was like a calling from the glasses. “I want a pic here” not that the glasses talk, but like I said sometime inanimate objects talk to me. I liked the 303 on there, helps give you, the reader, our location. 303 is Denver’s area code if you don’t know!!

Well even though we were in a literal cloud of smog (smokey fog), I was able to notice a few people including Whit!! Awesome skater, from THE DENVER SHOP. See how smokey it was??

Here I am, yeah those are handle bars, it March for God sake!! I think Ol’ J-Greer took this pic… Not too sure. I like the “This is not an exit” sign behind me, even though you could easily walk out this door. I figured I would be the only one to rock those shades like that so that’s why I did!!

So I had to pee pretty bad and didn’t want to be surrounded by smoke anymore… I walked towards the bathroom and felt kinda artsy, so I had the GLASSES pose by this electrical breaker box with a bunch of scribbles by it… oh that’s graffiti? My bad.. LOL. I am kidding, but still don’t understand why people do it, but too-each-there-own!!

So here is the beautiful urinal that I got to pee in… Yeah not to clean!! This is the only bathroom in the entire bar. Well there is a shitter, one stall over, but there are only two places for expelling body waste for the entire bar. Almost makes you wonder how many are ticketed for peeing in public next to this bar. I did, once there was a line, not going to lie!!

So after peeing a storm up in the crappy bathroom I continued to get a couple of drinks… not for myself. I decided I would buy Pete Eldridge a drink, yeah the pro for Mystery Skateboards, the East Coaster!! After talking to him for a little, I feel like I have known his pain for a really long time… I ain’t going to tell you what he explained to me but, I feel it!!

Back to the GLASSES that is what this is all about. Ends up the beers I bought for Pete, yeah two, one for him and one for his buddy… Well his buddy ended up being my BESTIE!! You guessed it, Chief Two, you already forgot his name?? Steven…

Well Stevie and I stepped out front to smoke because it was just too smokey in the back. That is when I decided to take this pic of the front of “The Streets” with the glasses. Pretty good pose too for an non-living object.

Then Steve decided we should put them by his beer… Not sure why but looks like the GLASSES liked it.  HELL YEAH, look how they are hugging it!! Almost make a great couple I guess, not sure, not much of a match maker…

Scratch that!! Look at this match!!

Just kidding, but this is probably the highlight of the GLASSES adventure. Hanging out with all of us, getting all this attention, sitting on Steven’s face while he is accomplishing such a feat, (having a hurt face, drinking a beer, smoking a cig, all while chilling with me!! Well chilling with me doesn’t mean much, but I threw it out there and you tried to catch it!@)

Well the night isn’t over yet..

We still had to get some pool shots in for the glasses…

Definitely some Red Bull and Vodka drinks… yeah this one is mine!!

Also we need to get more people involved in this adventure…. Let’s go find some people too get in on this adventure with the GLASSES!! So after we had a few more drinks and said good-bye to some friends we already had made and some we even knew, we decided to make some more friends… I think it was B-Nice (Brian G) who had went to the back with me to smoke in the cloud again. Yeah it was Brian!!

This was our first new friend!! I introduced her to the GLASSES and explained our adventure, well since the GLASSES can’t talk. “So would you take a picture with these?” I asked. “Hell yeah, that’s so awesome!” She replied. We then took I think two pics because the first wasn’t good enough. Then after she approved it she said, ”Do not post this on FaceBook because I had called off work today and I am also going to call off in the morning.” I almost told her she was retarded, because you have to be friends with people before they could even see any picture… but I didn’t, I am so nice!! (Look I even waited a few weeks to post it on the blog!!)

This girl to the right is AWESOME!! Maybe not the hottest girl, but definitely one of the nicest girls I have ever met! Once I had explained to her the adventure she was definitely into it! “I would love to take a pic.. no just give them to me I will put them on!!” she said.  Look at the smile, she was definitely into being friends with the GLASSES. I wonder if I had anything to do with it… Doubt it!!

Now this one… LOL, very funny. I had asked the girl, “Hey do you wanna take a picture with these GLASSES for the adventure we are on?”  “No, but he would!” she replied. “Well where is he?” I had asked and she put the glasses on this girl, I mean dude that acted like a girl! I was kinda weirded out  by him but whateves, we (the GLASSES and I) aren’t prejudice.

Now this girl, not as awesome as the other, but definitely awesome took a pic right as we were going to leave. I had said, “Hey don’t I know you??” she replied, “Hey Fred!”…. Blank.. blank.. blank.. (OH YEAH I thought to myself..) “You’re that awesome girl that gave us a ride last night!!” I yelled. “Yeah what are you guys doing?” she said. “I thought you were blond” Steven said. She just laughed… and we ended up all walking home together.

No I didn’t hook up with her…. Steve did!! Yeah after that line, I thought he was crashing to the earth after being shot down by an enemy fighter, but his parachute must have been perfect because he definitely hooked up with her that night!@!

And even to top it off, before we left, we made her wait outside the fence for about five minutes while we said later to Steve’s neighbor, Tracy and her hot friend!! Oh and I made her take a pic with the GLASSES to complete the adventure!!

Then when she was handing them back to be…. “OH SHIT!” <crash> She drops them… “I am so sorry.” she said. “No it’s cool they are alright.” I replied. Then I noticed the lens fell out! Damn I thought to myself… is that the adventure? is it over? I lean over and pick them up… the lens fell out because the plastic band that held it in had broken from the contact with the beer soaked green concrete. It wasn’t over yet I placed the lens back in and we proceeded to leave the bar… on our merry way home. Steve and his new found friend and me and the GLASSES walking back around 18 blocks on our way home….

Then I thought… you can’t have adventures all the time… and they can’t last forever…

SO I SMASHED THEM!! AND SAID THANKS FOR THE ADVENTURE!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!! fredCARLEY